As I continue to read
A Severe Mercy, I continue to see the wolrd through the eyes of the author and his wife (and I continue to be late to work. Today only 5 minutes!). Today, I felt overcome by Jesus's compassion as I read the Gospel. I've read this Gospel countless times, but this morning something about it felt different. And I think I know why.
Before I began to read, my mind was already filled with the personality of Jesus. I had just put down my book after reading page after paged stuffed with an image of this amazing Personality, this great God, that Van and Davy knew so intimately. He was consistently with them through triumph and tragedy and the author skillfully brought me along with them.
I was already thinking of this good and loving Jesus as I read the first reading from Isaiah which always reminds me of my friend/hero Fr. John. At a Young Adult conference this fall, Fr. John spoke on this reading. He spoke of the rich food and pure, choice wines as the flesh and blood of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist. He spoke of the veil that veils all peoples as the veil of sin which oppresses us, and how it was Jesus on the cross who destroyed that veil and thus death forever. This reminder and also the thought of Fr. John, who has been a sincere model of Jesus to countless, brought the person of Jesus to the front of my mind.
I believe that it is because I was so aware of Jesus that this reading was uniquely impactful to me this morning. In picturing Jesus with "the lame, the blind, the deformed, the mute, and many others," I was able to experience His very love for them. As He said, "My heart is moved with pity," I experienced His pity as my own, like a friend you love so dearly you feel their emotions as your own.
Because I was aware of Jesus as I read, this passage came alive to me. This very reason is why St. Francis de Sales (and many other saints I imagine) say that the first step of prayer should be coming to an awareness of God's presence. I experienced that by grace this morning. So I encourage you to do the same.