Do you ever get burnt out? I feel like that's the perennial question. It doesn't matter what you do for a living. That feeling of not being able to go on, not making a difference, unmotivation and alone-ness is familiar to us all.
I heard a quote in a podcast a while ago that really struck me so I wrote it down on a sticky note that got lost in the piles of sticky notes on my desk. I found it yesterday.
"Weariness in apostolate often comes from our roots not being deep enough. Do not add to your to do list; PRAY."
Is this you? It's certainly me a lot of the time. Throughout my entire life, whenever I'm starting to feel burnt out I'll just try to think of more things I can do that will make me feel accomplished, but then I don't have enough energy or motivation to get them done so I end up feeling worse than I started.
But our energy shouldn't only come from a job well done. It shouldn't only come from a good self-care routine. Our spirit should be rooted in our relationship with God. When the seed fell on rich soil it was contanstly being nourished and so could produce good fruit. It wasn't the fruit that have the seed strength, it was the soil.
We live in a results motivated world. But we are not of this world. We all have the opportunity to cultivate the soil of our lives. Do we find that we are distracted? That we are surrounded by bad or toxic influences (whether people or the media that we consume)? Are we "too busy" to really dedicate ourselves to deepening our prayer life? Are we too discouraged to do it?
These are all real challenges and I'm sure there are countless more, but now we have the opportunity to change that. We can plant ourselves in good soil. It starts with making the time to pray. It doesn't matter how much you pray now. You need to pray more. Add in an extra daily Mass each week. If you don't take time for silent prayer with Scripture, start there. If you do, increase your time by a few minutes. Pray the rosary daily. Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet. Pray the Liturgy of the Hours.
And start to cut out the things that are polluting your soil.